You know that old saying, “You are what you eat…”
We know that is true…though weird to think about…
I believe however that we are what we expect and what is expected of us…
There was never a time in my life when I didn’t expect to do well…
Or to live well…
And equally as important there has never been a time…
When my loved ones didn’t expect me to do well either…
The same is true for my children…
My expectation was always that they would do well…
Even when wavering and wanting to play when work was needed…
The expectations and the reinforcements were the same…
So many people ask me today…
“Why aren’t you a grandmother?” or "Why aren't your boys in trouble?"
Unfortunately it seems that in our world today when a Black woman…
Passes forty and she has kids over eighteen, she is supposed to be a granny…
I have a simple answer for them…
“My kids aren’t married, they are still trying to get places and there is plenty of time for that.”
Then the question becomes…
“How did you stop them, in today’s world?”
I tell them it was expectations…
I expected them to attend school…
I expected them to do reasonably well…
I expected them to listen to the advice their dad and I provided…
And the examples we set…
I expected them to be respectful…
I didn’t expect them to become statistics…
Teenaged fathers…
Incarcerated….
Or riddled with bad choices that are seemingly impossible to overcome…
I expected them to do well…
And to live will…
And they had expectations of their own…
angelia
