I have a confession to make, when it comes to crying women, especially at work, I am like a man, I don’t know what to do…am puzzled and befuddled. I totally understand how a good cry cleanses the soul and makes us feel better, but what I also understand is that the male species often feels paralyzed by a woman’s tears in the most intimate of situations and surely don’t know what to do when it happens at work…
I deal with a few women who get weepy when things aren’t going as they would have them go, or if lo and behold I say something like, “Come on, we are here to work not socialize, or rights are not privileges…” I see the full eyes and trembling lips or downturned mouths and think, ‘Damn, what do I say or do’…mostly I just stare uncomfortably until they go away…knowing that later they will come back and I will have to say something…sheesh…
Now, don’t be fooled there are times when I have wanted to weep while I worked, but I chose to not do that, didn’t want anyone to feel as though they had to console me or make me feel better, that is not work’s responsibility. I can recall when my mama was terminally ill, when I felt the desire to weep, I went to my car, or the restroom or home…or when sitting at my desk and work is piling up like Mount Everest, and that has happened a lot lately, I listen to music while doing all I can with my door closed…because what I know for sure is that we can’t on the one hand ask to be treated as equals but on the other hand melt into a puddle of tears and expect to be treated special. Unfortunately it is either one or the other…sorry…
It’s really funny because there are those in my family who think I am the softest of the bunch, because within the confines of family if something is sad or I am realllllly mad, you will see my tears…but them’s my peeps…otherwise, I suck it up, or take it away from there, because while I want to be paid for what I do and promoted accordingly, I have no expectations of being treated any differently than the guys are being consoled at the job place…
You can blame the women in my family, they were women who lived, loved and worked hard. But there wasn’t a weeper amongst them. Maybe they cried with their men, or late at night, or during a nice song at church…but I know they didn’t weep while they worked and didn’t allow us to either…not saying either way is right or wrong, just RAMBLING…
Angelia Vernon Menchan
Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published eighteen books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than forty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan
Menchan has also published the work of seven other authors to date and has several publishing projects upcoming in 2013 to include a children's book, Little Wing by biologist, Erin Gawera, Honorable Menchan Poets 2013 by Dictator, Genesis and Creammy Mocha and a breast cancer memoir by Lena Jordan.
She is becoming a sought after speaker for young women audiences because she speaks honestly, straight and open to the issues that plague them such as teen pregnancy, the importance of education and making life impacting choices.
Kim Floyd of Real Mommies Read, a part of the Spartanburg Public Library says:
Angelia's ability to help our teen moms see themselves as she did was a special gift. She instilled within them a desire to make better choices, take control of their bodies and their lives. They realized their pasts didn't have to determine their futures. Angelia let them know their worth.
Mrs. Menchan is available for speaking engagements; book signings and discussions. She resides in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband and graphic designer, Maurice Menchan
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679