I developed a rather tough skin by the time I was thirteen, I was in a rather precarious home situation, a lot of things was going on around me that I had no control over and to deal with it I had to toughen up, not allow situations to mess me up...
Now by tough skin, I don't mean hard, things still touched my heart, I still cried when I was hurt, laughed when something was funny...but I learned to not let what people say about me or those I love, change the course of my life and for that narrow window of time, people had much to say.
I literally forced myself to walk with my head high and my sights on the possibilities of a life that lay ahead.
By the time I was fourteen, I had a job,in a fast food restaurant, yep,money was money baby...I went to school, made great grades, worked about 20 hours and week and saved ten percent. And the thing is this, no one was necessarily telling me to do any of these things. I KNEW, that if I wanted a life beyond what I could see, those were the things I had to do.
I can recall so many days I walked to work, rain or shine and the few nights I walked home down pine street, turning on to broadway, because that was the only way I could get to and fro. And I didnt allow anything that anyone said, to deter me.
I recall someone saying, I was working in a stupid job, a smiled and patted my real leather handbag I had bought with my own money that held my bank book...
I recall the people I worked with wanting to know more about my life, my family, our business...I had nothing to say, because I knew even then not to get down like that...
I recall leaving that job at 17 and moving on to another job with a scholarship for college classes, while still in high school and having Mrs. Jones tell me it was because I was smart and she knew I loved the skin I was in.
I am saying none of this to brag, but to inform that sometimes, no matter what our circumstances are, and I had plenty, my mom was in a relationship that consumed all her time, the place I was living consumed young people and turned them to lawlessness and the like,but I knew even at the tender young age that I was that I didnt want any part of any of that.
I wanted a life filled with work and respect and a semblance of honor, I wanted to be loved, but needed to love myself first, I wanted to be cared for but needed to be able to care for myself, I never wanted a man to say to me, 'If it were not for me, you would be nothing...' So Iworked, I presevered, I loved and believed in me and walked please to be in THE SKIN I AM IN...guess what, ain't nothing changed but the weeks on the calender...
Be Blessed!
